Oh well.

I find it stressful and nerve wrecking somehow every time when there's a show/gig coming up that I'll be playing.

The feeling of I-Am-Not-Good-Enough always hit me.

A voice that always tell me I'm not good enough.

And because of this, I ended up playing like shit and then there I go, humiliating myself on stage.

So then, I've been stressing myself so much that once after every show I play, I become depress.

There I go, sitting at the corner or whatever, all by myself.

Or trying real hard to avoid talking to people.

I'll only talk to my best friend, certain friends and my band mates only.

Everytime when people come to me and say how good and awesome I played, I tend to tell myself that you guys are just being really nice to me.

Urgh! I just want to breakdown and cry.

:'(