Vivian Ng wants you to know.

Vivian Ng Huei Jing is still the same Vivian Ng Huei Jing.

Though I may look different from the outside than before....
But I'm still me in the inside.

I used to look like this:
(Beware of the horrible looks.)

Me and my bestie, Wei Ling

Winnie, Kah Mun, Wei Ling & the pathetic Me.

Me and Samuel Thye (Shit! I look damn horrible. It took me lots of guts to upload this.)
No wonder I'm so depressed during those days...

Okay..okay...Enough of the HORROR.

Lets move to the latest of yours truly.

Me and bestie Wei Ling

Rachel cupcakes and Me.

Hmmm....Though I know I still don't look good but at least I look better than before la. Haha.

Okay. I will go straight to the point of the reason of posting this post.

As you can see my old pictures above, I was indeed having the looks of a nerdy girl.
Basically, the type of girl who looks like a geek, a freak...
Looking like a dumb, timid, useless, good girly girl la.
And I was also the quiet one, as all of you know.
:)
And because of this looks, I'd been put down many times.
Words that people describe me had hurt me much.
Words they said to me hurt me the most.
Of cz I won't mention who.
The feeling its like a sword piercing my heart.
No joke.
It affected me a lot even till this very day.
=.='

Yes, I did try my very best to forget all the hurting words I received.
But there are still scars that is seriously hard for me to erase.
I've been call useless and timid because of being too quiet and not being brave enough.
'You can meh? Your size like that?'
'You sure you can anot?You so quiet. All you can do is smile only.'
'Aiya! See your face also know you cannot la...'
That's a few example of hurtful words that can't be erase. Thank you.

I know I'm still me in the inside, and definitely I can't be somebody else I am NOT.
I'm still going to be who I am.
I know I'm still quiet, shy and timid.
I'm really trying hard to not be like this but I just feel so tired.
It's just so tiring..........

Anyway, since I can't change who I am, I try to change my outer appearance.
So yeah. By just seeing the pictures above. Tada! :D
LOL

One thing, I chose rock as my fashion style mainly because I love it.
With the black and thick eyeliner and piercings.
And not only that, by having a rocker look, the first thing people will see you is a person who is brave and confident.
That's what I want people to see me.
Btw, me having piercing is the way I would like to express myself.
I pierced because I want to show you that I can. I'm brave.
I'm not timid.
I know it's stupid but I can't help it.
I don't want everyone to see me as a timid person.
So, yeah.

Some of the people thought I have change to be a very rebellious girl.
A girl who don't care about her studies.
A girl who do naughty things.
A girl who behave terribly at home & outside.
All because of the piercings I have, they think I become like this.
*Slaps forehead*
I'm still me la ok.
I didn't change la.
Please...please....it's so obvious that you people are judging someone by his/her looks.
My brother also kena, just because of his hair.
=.='
*sigh*

Life can be so depressing because of what people think about you.
All they can give is negative comments about you.
People like them only know how to see the weak side of you.
How depressing and hurtful is that right??
I know I'm not the only one going through this.
Maybe you are too.
Sometimes I just feel like not living in this world.

But I'm still here because of JESUS.
I would not be here if I don't have HIM.
I can go through all this tough roads is all because of HIM.
Only HE accepts me for who I am.
Without HIM giving me the strength, without HIM rescuing me, I won't be here now.

So, I'll stop here.
Hope I will have a great day everyday.

<3